I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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