That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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