so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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