Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
