HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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