Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
