i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Randomize
