4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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