Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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