i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
