He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
