I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
