I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
