i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
you inspire me to be a worse person
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
