Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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