Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
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