I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
