its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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