i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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