It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I've blown a few things in my day
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
