drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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