Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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