Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Randomize
