Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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