I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
