That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
