Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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