oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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