is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
