this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
