I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
