do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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