All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
