I'm jealous of your bromance
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
