That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
