someone get that fucking seahorse.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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