this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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