yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
