I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
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