Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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