Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
