dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Sorry my hands just texted you
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
