No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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