That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Randomize
