Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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