I wannas sexs uuuuu
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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