Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
