i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
