so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
She just used a chaser for red wine.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
