How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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