perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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