I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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