I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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